well, I survived another back procedure and I live to tell the tale....overly dramatic....yes, I tell myself, a little....that is until I actually step, yes, step from the hospital bed up onto the operating table in the operating room in the cardiac unit in the hospital. Then I tell myself, uh, no...this is the REAL DEAL....you're about to go under! the whole procedure is VERY different to anything I have experienced before. However, I am reassured as I wait my turn because the patients before me who enter the same operating room, actually exit alive! yay! BREATHE as Mr K says!
FotoSource
Once I'm up on the table then the humor begins...gotta love 'surgeon humour'! they ask me everytime if i'm 'allergic' to anything and i run thru the usual (long) list of offenders...as usual when I get to 'ammonia' they yell "right clear all ammonia out of theatre!" and we all laugh (at first i wasn't sure i should laugh-shouldn't we be using our 'operating theatre quiet voices'?).
This time one of the nurses asks 'so what does garlic do to you'?...
oh so glad you asked, I say....'well within about 20 mins of eating it I get these 'angelina jolie lips, which is attractive for about 5 mins and then they just keep swelling until they look like they'll burst!'
all theatre staff intrigued by now and listening, so anaesthetist declares, 'garlic into the IV immediately!' and we all shriek with laughter! seriously, this doesn't happen on 'House', does it?
then I start to go under and I tell 'Kiwi surgeon' that I'm not impressed with weather and we didn't move to australia to be followed by bad NZ weather, did we??! he agrees and other doc chimes in with 'are you a Kiwi too?'
so, in my whacked out drowsy state, I declare, 'excuse, only the best are here (meaning me and kiwiw doc), I was Miss NZ 19xx ...' !!
oh, where oh where did that come from??...that is sooo not fair, i soo never say that, EVER!!! so then, they all STOP! wait, don't put her under (or words to that affect or did i make that up??)...
...and i say, 'oh I meant Miss NZ 19XX', ...taking 10 years off the original date!!
amazing isn't it, how the brain works....even as my mind was sinking into unconsciousness, my subconscious was still trying to take 10 years off my age...why is that?...I mean there I was lying 'bare ass up' on an operating table and I was worried about my age, vanity & angelina jolie lips! go figure!
Anyone care to comment on any funny hospital experiences?
Comments